The past weeks have been even more of a whirlwind than the previous ones given all the work that has been piling up for me. In undertaking this journey and the obligations here in Florianólopis, I did anticipate I would be doing double-duty as my work here was essentially voluntary in nature. As previously shared, I am on my non-teaching term that is primarily meant for taking vacation, working on my research (grants, projects, writing, etc.), and doing class prep for the Summer semester at UM. But never had I expected the work in Brazil to include continually chasing people for answers, having to pivot because of unexpected (uncommunicated) changes, and a seeming lack of regard for the time and personal funds I put into this endeavor. A big dose of reality I encountered was feeling my investment of time, effort, and money was being taken for granted.
Of course I have been privileged to have such a grand adventure and enjoy fabulous experiences during my time in Brazil, but at times the extra heavy lifting I did came with a great deal of stress and personal cost. Many people here were happy for me to bring knowledge to the three institutions, put in time and effort to teach courses, do presentations, and share resources. But at one of the three institutions it was mainly a one-sided partnership. Some basic things I needed, such as a set schedule to plan my other commitments around, timely answers to emails and texts, and inclusion in decision making that impacted me were simply not reciprocated. And, as of the time writing this blog, from this institution I got one free meal (invited to meet another Canadian scholar who was leaving) and a swag bag…that’s pretty much it in return for my investment.
Before I elaborate further on this issue, I want to offer a caveat to acknowledge not all people I met at this particular institution or any of the other institutions operated this way - there are many wonderful people who were very mindful of my efforts, timely in communications, punctual, and demonstrated a high level of personal and professional courtesy. In fact, some people went out of their way to socialize with me outside of the work environment and included me in weekend activities. And I would say that the connections they and I seemed to share were built on similar values, work ethic, and professional comportment. So I can say what I negatively experienced was not exactly based on culture, per se - it seems critical factors were personal characteristics and professional competence (knowledge, skill, and aptitude/attitude).
I must also acknowledge the generosity of those people who supported me in many ways to adjust to the culture, gain some uniquely Brazilian experiences, and to really appreciate the wonderful opportunities I have had here. And this includes the students who attended my sessions, particularly the concentrated grounded theory classes at UFSC - they were engaging, enthusiastic, and fun! I really hope to have the opportunity to work with them in the future and wish them the best in their paths.
So, two of the biggest challenges I experienced right from the time of planning this venture that were very problematic and, quite frankly, a huge waste of my time included lack of response to simple communications and lack of follow through in commitments. For example, when preparing to come here, it was important I have a schedule set for all the activities I would do here in Brazil before leaving Canada on December 6. Given the 3-hour time zone difference with Winnipeg and the many meetings and other obligations to coordinate at UM, this was an absolute necessity…and I made that very clear in my early communications back in August and September 2023. I took a lead on drafting a proposal for presentations, workshops, and classes and would send emails with draft schedules. I would then send a follow-up email after 2 weeks, and then another…either the response was essentially “I am busy and will get back to you” or no response at all. The schedule was not the only correspondence going on, as I had tasks to do to prepare for a visa application to Brazil (a requirement that subsequently got dropped because of its impact on tourism here) and other details.
The schedule did not get settled until mid-February and only after I almost blew a gasket because it was becoming quite stressful with the lack of planning, lack of communication, and lack of follow through. A similar thing happened in the quest to start drafting an agreement for a potential partnership between UFSC and UM, a goal that was one of the main reasons I was invited to Brazil. This process entails setting up a Memorandum of Understanding that has to be negotiated and have clear objectives to present to the leadership structures of our respective institutions. After two months, two meetings, and several emails, nothing progressed. I finally decided I would not chase adult professionals for answers; if there is a sincere desire to develop a partnership, the work and the effort has to be equally shared. What I do know is that, until expectations for an equitable and respectful partnership are sorted, I cannot recommend that other faculty or students experience what I have faced. The cultural transition to Brazil is a big enough challenge on its own without added layers of stress.
Another situation that arose just two work days before I was to begin a concentrated course to graduate students when a suggestion was made to go 100% online. Apparently this discussion was happening behind the scenes without my input and, from my understanding, may have involved asking students what they preferred - in-class or online? I was also told that reaching graduate students in other universities would be in my interest. First, the original agreement was a focus on teaching PhD students in a face-to-face class at this institution. Second, I could have done an online course from Canada without the expense of going to Brazil (all my own person finances). Third, and most importantly, who has the right to determine what is best for me without involving me in the discussion? The end result was a very small group of dedicated students, who I thoroughly enjoyed working with, but only one of which only one was a PhD student in the nursing program.
When this last exchange started to happen I felt like packing and going home - I was frustrated with the continuous lack of communication, the lack of planning, and the sheer lack of personal and professional respect for me, my autonomy, my time, my financial input, and my efforts. I had already been preparing for in-class delivery that would require additional extra work for adaptation to online. I was already spending 8 - 10 hours of preparation time for each of the classes. And then another shift happened…the class time was changed to one hour later and the length of class changed from 4 down to 3 hours which impacted the pace of delivery (my first class ended up going way over time).
There were many other challenges, too - technology not set up that made for a late start for most of my sessions, no WiFi access as a visitor, no space for me to hang out between teaching and meetings, and often I was just left on my own…sometimes without a clue of who I was meeting or where the meeting was to take place. As tempted as I was to quit, I resolved to: 1) honor my commitments to deliver the sessions I had agreed to; 2) continue to set an example of timely communications, following through on my promises, and being punctual; 3) provide the highest level quality delivery of my expertise and knowledge; and 4) reflect on, and learn from, these experiences.
In terms of honoring my commitments, I do not think anyone can say I fell short on anything I promised and delivered. All presentations, workshops, and classes I committed to were executed to the best quality possible, on time (except where technology or support was not ready), and to the fullest of my abilities. Most people who know me understand I have a wee bit of OCD for ensuring things are well-prepared and will put 110% effort into most things I do. I cannot, of course, speak to the evaluative quality of content and execution - that would be for the attendees to judge. However, gauging from the faulty and students who returned to each of the sessions, I can surmise there was interest and learning going on. And feedback that was provided to me has been quite positive.
People who know me well would not be surprised that I was pre-punctual to every class, seminar, presentation, and meeting. As well, every email or WhatsApp message (to my knowledge) was responded to within 24 - 48 hours, but usually within a couple hours. And as for commitments, all scheduled have been completed, most extra activities have been addressed, and there are only two outstanding tasks left - writing two invited articles for two different journals here (this are not done yet because I simply have been too busy!).
As for the reflection and my learnings, I will be unpacking and mulling on that for weeks to come. But here are a few things I have come to understand so far:
1. None of what has transpired is personal - it is not like anyone has intentionally set out to sabotage me or my efforts. In fact, almost everyone I have met has been kind and welcoming. It seems to be more of a situation where some people are gifted with certain abilities and/or have developed competencies to anticipate, coordinate, communicate, and appreciate. And, in this light, some people are more able to realize the impact that lack of planning and communication will have on the others around them than others - I guess a combination of situational awareness and emotional intelligence.
2. There are significant cultural differences related to work between Brazil and Canada, some of Brazil's that I quite admire. For instance, the overarching philosophy here seems to be to work to live rather than live to work - a stark contrast to our our historical “Protestant work ethic”. From what I have seen, there generally tends to be a more balanced approach between work and personal/family life that is to be envied. In the academic world, if I understand correctly, there is not the same tenure-track expectation here…no hiring committees to impress as we do and a probationary period of three years. This is quite different for those of us in the dreaded “hamster wheel” where achieving tenure and promotion becomes the end all and be all of our existence.
3. One theme I have heard a lot is that attaining a federal or state job (which most university positions are) is a coveted position and, once employment is secured, some faculty will work the minimum and then coast. I know from my interactions with faculty this is not the case for many of them and that they share a passion for quality work. Another observation and a cause for concern in the nursing profession is that there are many faculty who have fast tracked from baccalaureate through to PhD without any authentic nursing practice at all; essentially resulting in academics without any real nursing experience teaching and researching nursing practice. A rather astute student in one presentation asked me if this was a phenomenon in Canada and what I thought of it. My response was that, yes, it is a practice in Canada and that I strongly believe that this is leading to a greater schism between frontline nursing practice and the academic "Ivory Tower". Not just a schism but a true erosion of the nursing profession as the quality of PhD preparation has gone down to the point of little emphasis on philosophy and more of a production of research technicians. Also evident in Brazil as with Canada is grooming of PhD academics from within the university - graduates who only ever know one institution.
4. There are many opportunities for me to work with dedicated faculty and fun people in Brazil that have similar interests, values, and work ethics to me. And this does not require a formal partnership agreement, just as was the case when I worked as co-supervisor with Maria Alice. So these are the people I shall seek out for collaboration…well, actually I have found them already across all three of the institutions I have visited ☺️ Sometimes it is simply a matter of developing a “coalition of the willing” with the right people and, if this leads to a formal partnership down the line, then so much the better.
5. Life is too damned short, nothing is certain, and there are no guarantees…the latter I have learned the hard way over the last four years. Through this experience I have really come to appreciate what I have worked so hard to attain in my career and that there are people and places I where I can contribute my knowledge and expertise...and where it will be truly appreciated. So, after this grand adventure and re-evaluating things, methinks a change is in the wind - maybe less living to work. A lot less.
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